The End of Rainbow

Everything happened on last Friday. The closure came at the same time with the deadline of my job. That’s when I decided to lay my cards on the table and end the crazy days in the candy store. Somehow I just wanted my life to be back simple again like it used to be. I mean, simplicity has been my policy. Once I feel like I start to have two personalities, that’s just when I have to call it quit. And last Friday, I  decided to quit.

And after I made my big decision, I felt as if the universe started conspiring to get me to the right direction. Yesterday, a friend of mine showed me a song by Sandhy Sandoro called “The End of Rainbow”. Even though I personally don’t quite like the song, I think the spirit of the song is relating to what I really look for.

Of course everybody is looking for the end of rainbow where the pot of gold, the most ultimate treasure, has been laying there faithfully waiting for you. I’ve been looking for mine as well although most of realistic souls would say my quest is nothing but an impossible illusion.

And today, I received a newsletter that remind me that I have to do it right in order to get my pot of gold. My spiritual adviser has been telling me that I have to stop fooling around just for the adventure’s sake–just to make my life more colorful with some unnecessary troubles so that I can write them somewhere on my blog.

Now the problem is something that is called “illusion” by those realistic souls is starting to feel unlike illusion to me. Like a figure in the mist, the silhouette is starting to take form and I assure you that the universe does conspire. All you have to do is just to remember. That’s right. Remember something that has always been laying there, waiting for you to be discovered.

The following weekend after I made my big decision, I had this song “How I Remember you” by Michael Franks that kept playing on my head over and over again. I then sensed that the universe was begging me to remember it, remember the feeling that has been buried for so long, the warm and fuzzy feeling when you’re with the beloved. That’s the moment I know when I finally get to the end of my rainbow and find my pot of gold.

Then I feel the feeling is somehow familiar. It has never been gone anywhere. I was just forgetting it,  overridden by the mundane things in life and my own ignorance.

I have always been considering myself as the seeker. Now I officially acknowledge myself as a Professional Seeker and it always takes two to tango. Just like a thirsty man in the desert looking for a stream of water, the river itself has been calling and longing for the man to quench his thirst.

And I believe when the day the thirsty man and the river find one another, my magician would be standing there watching me proudly for what I have discovered so far where he would say, “I knew you can make it. I have always believed in you. We have finally proved that everybody was totally WRONG.”

On that day, I would cry the tears of joy once more just like a day in 2006 and my next song would be the song that Hafiz himself wrote centuries ago:

Ever since Happiness heard your name,
It has been running through the streets
Trying to find you.
And several times in the last week,
God Himself has come to my door–
So sweetly asking for your address,
Wanting the beautiful warmth of your heart’s fire.

*Written by listening Shade of Blue by Incognito over and over again and juggling with e-mails, files and donuts from AECD Director’s birthday party

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. sumlump
    Mar 14, 2010 @ 19:28:06

    beautiful and very well-written. keep on writing!


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